Eavesdropping

Man, I never thought I’d be cutting wood still in April.

Sometimes I just stay in bed and read all day.

I got that gardens meeting about my community plot tonight.

I got a plot at home.

So do I; this is just how I meet babes.

I was reading about civilizations on Mars, it said there was civilizations there like 70,000 years ago.

Most kids come to know Jesus when they’re like 11.

Oh my God, let me see your engagement ring.

Did you hear about the zombiefest on campus, like 200 people signed up, it starts with one, if they tag you, you’re a zombie for the day.

Can I be a zombie in class?

My midwife’s on Facebook, if you’re looking for one; she’s not warm and fuzzy, but she’s supportive and good spirited.

I didn’t mean to pass judgment; it’s ok if you don’t want a midwife.

There are only four people in town that make it, and they get together on Mondays.

You know my ex-wife, she was a real bitch, but she remarried, she found this rich guy, I met him, and now she’s pretty happy, actually, she’s not much of a bitch anymore, at all, I was thinking, money can buy happiness.