Revealing the Trauma of War

More masks and stories at: Healing Soldiers from National Geographic

War Ink

Veterans revealing stories and witness of war through their tattoos. Check out the interactive website at: http://www.warink.org/

Read the complete story here: War Ink on PBS

Watch the YouTube film:

Then & Now

"Remember My Forgotten Man" -  Gold Diggers of 1933 

I don't know if he deserves a bit of sympathy
Forget your sympathy, that's all right with me
I was satisfied to drift along from day to day
Till they came and took my man away

Remember my forgotten man
You put a rifle in his hand
You sent him far away
You shouted: "Hip-hooray!"
But look at him today

Remember my forgotten man
You had him cultivate the land
He walked behind the plow
The sweat fell from his brow
But look at him right now

And once, he used to love me
I was happy then
He used to take care of me
Won't you bring him back again?
'Cause ever since the world began
A woman's got to have a man
Forgetting him, you see
Means you're forgetting me
Like my forgotten man

"Time To Go Home" - Michael Franti & Spearhead, Yell Fire, 2007

Those who start wars, never fight them
And those who fight wars, they never like them
And those who write laws, can recite them
And those who fight laws, they live and die by them

But I know its time
Yes I know its time
It's time to go home
It's time to go home
It's time to go home
It's time to go home

Don't take our boys away
Don't take our girls away
Don't take our boys away
Don't take our girls away

Those who build walls are pretending
That forever they can defend them
Those who dam streams can build fountains
Those of us who just let them run free
Can move mountains

But I know its time
Yes I know its time
It's time to go home
It's time to go home
It's time to go home
It's time to go home

And I say, you whoooo
You whoooo who who who, you whoooo who who who

Doves fly by in the morning light
Leaves fall down on a passer by
Phone call comes and a mamma cries
Tears stream down from a daddy's eyes
Tears stream down from a daddy's eyes

But I know its time
Yes I know its time
It's time to go home
It's time to go home
It's time to go home
It's time to go home

"Light Up Ya Lighter" - Michael Franti & Spearhead, Yell Fire, 2007

It never makes no sense
It never makes no sense
Fire, fire, fire, light up ya lighter, fire, fire, fire

Armageddon is a deadly day
Armageddon is a deadly way
They comin for you everyday
While senators on holiday

The army recruiters in the parking lot
Hustling kids there jugglin pot
Listen, young man, listen to my plan
Gonna make you money, gonna make you a man
Bom bom here's what you get... an M-16 and a kevlar vest
You might come home with one less leg but this thing will surely keep a bullet out your chest

So, come on, come on, sign up, come on
This one's nothing like Vietnam
Except for the bullets, except for the bombs, except for the youth that's gone

So we keep it on 'til ya comin' home
Higher and higher
Fire, fire, fire, light up ya lighter, fire, fire, fire

So we keep it on 'til ya comin' home
Higher and higher
Fire, fire, fire, light up ya lighter, fire, fire, fire

Tell me, President, tell me if you will
How many people does a smart bomb kill?
How many of 'em do you think we got?
The general says we never miss a shot
And we never ever ever keep a body count
We killin so efficiently, we can't keep count
In the Afghan hills, the rebels still fightin
Opium fields keep providin

The best heroin that money can buy and
Nobody knows where Osama been hidin
The press confrences keep on lyin
Like we don't know

So we keep it on 'til ya comin' home
Higher and higher
Fire, fire, fire, light up ya lighter, fire, fire, fire

So we keep it on 'til ya comin' home
Higher and higher
Fire, fire, fire, light up ya lighter, fire, fire, fire

Some say engine, engine number nine
Machine guns on a New York transit line
The war for oil is a war for the beast
The war on terror is a war on peace
Tellin you they're gonna protect you and
Tellin you that they support the troops

And don't let them fool you with their milk and honey
No, they only want your money

One step forward and two steps back
One step forward and two steps back
Why do veterans get no respect
PTSD and a broken back

Take a look at where your money's gone seen
Take a look at what they spend it on
No excuses, no illusions
Light up ya lighter, bring it home

So we keep it on 'til ya comin' home
Higher and higher
Fire, fire, fire, light up ya lighter, fire, fire, fire

So we keep it on 'til ya comin' home
Higher and higher
Fire, fire, fire, light up ya lighter, fire, fire, fire

So we keep it on 'til ya comin' home
Higher and higher
Fire, fire, fire, light up ya lighter, fire, fire, fire

So we keep it on 'til ya comin' home
Higher and higher
Fire, fire, fire, light up ya lighter, fire, fire, fire

Fire, fire, fire, yeah, you know, so light up ya lighter
Fire, fire, fire, fire, no, light up ya lighter

This Ain't Iraq

Sad and frustrated. 

~~~~~

You are right, this is not Iraq.

But this is,

And this,

 And this,

And sadly, sometimes this.

Photos taken during my 15 month deployment from 2006 to 2007.

on Fear

" . . . fear is squeezed out because of lack of space, that slow-motion sense that comes with peril is so vast and can no longer be grasped and so, however briefly, it fades from consciousness. It is the drug of the  combat zone. (142)"

From Down by the River: Drugs, Money, Murder, and Family
by Charles Bowden












"Fear actually can become much more of a problem for a warrior after coming home that it is in the war zone. The fear signal, which becomes almost a sixth sense in the combat environment, and which the warrior learns to trust implicitly for survival, can remain on high alert back home, where there is no longer the same need for it. . . . In the military, terms like fear and helplessness mean very different things than they do in civilian environments. (26)"

From Once a Warrior Always A Warrior
by Charles W. Hogue, MD, Colonel (Ret.), U.S. Army 

3rd Semester Reading List

Well, third semester's in the bag. Here's what I read:

1. A Good Man is Hard to Find & Other Stories by Flannery O’ Connor
2. Collected Short Stories of (by) Anton Chekov
3. Letting Loose the Hounds: Stories by Brady Udall
4. The Coast of Chicago by Stuart Dybek
5. Emperor of the Air by Ethan Canin
6. The Pugilist at Rest: Stories by Thom Jones
7. The Night in Question: Stories by Tobias Wolff
8. Collected Works (Eleven Kinds of Loneliness) by Richard Yates
9. The Night in Question: Stories by Tobias Wolff
10. Miracle Boy and Other Stories by Pinckney Benedict
11. first, body by Melanie Rae Thon
12. At the Jim Bridger by Ron Carlson
13. Airships by Barry Hannah
14. Sometimes a Great Notion by Ken Kesey
15. Give Us a Kiss by Daniel Woodrell
16. Ceremony by Leslie Marmon Silko
17. The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit by Sloan Wilson
18. In the Lake of the Woods by Tim O’Brien
19. The Sojourn by Andrew Krivak
20. The Return of the Soldier by Rebecca West
21. CivilWarLand in Bad Decline by George Saunders
22. All That Is by James Salter
23. If I Die in a Combat Zone by Tim O’Brien
24. Black Virgin Mountain: A Return to Vietnam by Larry Heinemann
25. Dust to Dust: A Memoir by Benjamin Busch
26. The Long Walk by Brian Castner
27. Odysseus in America by Jonathan Shay
28. Once a Warrior, Always a Warrior by Charles Hoge

Surprises:

first, body was recommended to me by my advisor. If you like'd Denis Johnson's Jesus' Son, you'll like this. Both collection's character's dwell in the same dark places of society, but deserve to be heard, and heard with a sense of lyrical urgency.

The Pugilist at Rest. I can only describe this as being punched in the face and liking it. Shit, loving it.

The Sojourn--a 2011 National Book Award Finalist--is a spectacular (though often tragic) tale of a shepherd boy/man rising from Austria-Hungry in the midst of World War I, becoming a semi-famed sharpshooter then perilously falling from grace and struggling like everyone else to survive the "meat grinder," only to find that the months following the war could still be the hardest yet to live. Read it, you won't be sorry.

Armistice About Face

Armistice, a truce, an agreement by both sides to stop fighting, and the hope in 1918 was that they’d seen the worse of it. That during the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month there was a break in the fighting, and in that lull the sudden silence was the voice of God. 

But do we live in a society disconnected from war? Even as we ask ourselves whether we’re becoming desensitized to violence we look at the statistics and see dwindling participation in our nation’s wars. Nearly every kid in our nation’s secondary school system could probably describe intimately with sardonic verisimilitude Black Ops, or Metal of Honor, or Call of Duty, or whatever first person shooter has conscripted our children as virtual soldiers. War is not a fucking video game. War is killing. But this is something only 6.9% of our nations population knows. Our current population rests somewhere around 316,000,000 yet less than 22,000,000 living veterans of armed conflict are in our midst.

How does war affect your vote? How does war affect your life? How much money do you make? Do you think you make enough money that you’ll just pay taxes and that precludes you from having to participate in armed conflict? Imagine if congress had started a draft for the Global War on Terror--Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom. Would you have encouraged your son to flee to Canada? Would you have tried to find a means for your child not to have to fight because certain populations of our nation are entitled enough they need not experience war? 2,500,000 soldiers, sailors, and marines have participated in the last decade of war. That’s less than 1% of our nation’s population. Actually, that’s 0.86% of our nation’s population.

But was war ever supported with a greater percentage of Americans.

4.3% of the population in the 60’s and 70’s fought in Vietnam.

3.75% of the population in the early 50’s fought in Korea.

11.4% of the population in the late 30’s and early 40’s fought in World War II.

4.58% of the population in the late teens fought in World War I.

I wish I could conclude that dwindling participation in our nation’s wars means war is becoming obsolete. That progressive politics and increased diplomacy necessitates lesser numbers of troops waiting to take up arms, but we know that’s not true. Sure, we can brag about sticking magnified flags and yellow ribbons on our vehicles after 9/11. And I personally knew many men in the Army who joined out of patriotism and a calling to serve after our nation was terrorized, but those men are still part of the 0.86%.

I’ve set this track to repeat for a while.

Bob Dylan

“Masters of War”

Come you masters of war

You that build all the guns

You that build the death planes

You that build the big bombs

You that hide behind walls

You that hide behind desks

I just want you to know

I can see through your masks

You that never done nothin’

But build to destroy

You play with my world

Like it’s your little toy

You put a gun in my hand

And you hide from my eyes

And you turn and run farther

When the fast bullets fly

Like Judas of old

You lie and deceive

A world war can be won

You want me to believe

But I see through your eyes

And I see through your brain

Like I see through the water

That runs down my drain

You fasten the triggers

For the others to fire

Then you set back and watch

When the death count gets higher

You hide in your mansion

As young people’s blood

Flows out of their bodies

And is buried in the mud

You’ve thrown the worst fear

That can ever be hurled

Fear to bring children

Into the world

For threatening my baby

Unborn and unnamed

You ain’t worth the blood

That runs in your veins

How much do I know

To talk out of turn

You might say that I’m young

You might say I’m unlearned

But there’s one thing I know

Though I’m younger than you

Even Jesus would never

Forgive what you do

Let me ask you one question

Is your money that good

Will it buy you forgiveness

Do you think that it could

I think you will find

When your death takes its toll

All the money you made

Will never buy back your soul

And I hope that you die

And your death’ll come soon

I will follow your casket

In the pale afternoon

And I’ll watch while you’re lowered

Down to your deathbed

And I’ll stand o’er your grave

’Til I’m sure that you’re dead

I believe today is a day of remembrance for the universal joy that comes from peace. It’s not a day to remember the fallen: that’s memorial day. It’s not a day to take pride in our service: that’s vulgar and only glorifies war. It’s a day for commemorating the universal joy of peace.

So on this Veteran’s Day don’t thank a vet for their service. Instead, look inward and consider what it would take for you to go to war or encourage a loved one to go to war. Do you believe in the cause enough you’re willing to die or watch that loved one die? Or will you side with remembrance of the joy of universal peace. Are you willing to compromise and support peace before war? And if you have had to fight or if you’ve had to send off a loved one, than you should know the joys of peace better than any, and proclaim the truth of Armistice Day.

“Though force can protect in emergency, only justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace.”

–General Dwight Eisenhower 

“I think that people want peace so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have it.”

–General Dwight Eisenhower

“I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only one who has seen its brutality, its stupidity.” 

–General Dwight Eisenhower